Pandora

Have you ever discovered a song that you like so much that you wish you could find similar songs? I discovered the site Pandora through a friend, and I am hooked.

Pandora is a free web-based program that allows you to input the name of an artist or song, and based on data linked to the artist or song, Pandora will find other music you may like. For example, one of my favorite songs is Untold Stories by Buju Banton. So, I created a radio station called ,"Untold Stories."

Pandora looks at the data for ,"Untold Stories," which includes, "a reggae feel, a subtle use of vocal harmony, acoustic sonority, repetitive melodic phrasing, extensive vamping, major key tonality, a gravelly male vocalist, acoustic rhythm guitars, prominent percussion, political lyrics" and finds other songs based on the same criteria. Pandora plays entire songs, which the user can give a thumbs up or thumbs down. Soon you have an entire list of songs populated based on your original seed song or artist. From my "Untold Stories" seed, I discovered artists such as Ekolu, Ka'au Crater Boys, Gyptian, Mishka, and even another version of the seed song performed by Sinéad O'Connor.

Oh, and if you really like the song, the site allows you to click on the album cover, select buy, and then the song will pop up in iTunes. I am starting my "Amos Lee" seed now.

Dali Nostalgia

Today I went to the mall during my lunch hour, and decided to grab some Chicknuggets. I walked past a perfume store on the way to the food court, and was almost knocked over by a mixture of every fragrance inside. It's an odor that can give you a sick headache, make you see stars, and most definitely... make you dream of being in Paris. For twelve years I visited Paris a minimum of twice a year. Now I haven't walked in her streets, and past her military-strength perfumeries in two years, except vicariously as the hibou spectateur. Elle me manque.

An odor can be awful and nostalgic at once, and the great dissonant cacophony of perfumes I smelled today was both. The only thing worse than smelling such a great melange of perfumes at once is smelling a perfume of great significance by itself that moves you in some way. For example, Old Spice that immediately brings images of my grandfather in his overalls; the smell of Beautiful that I identified with an old friend who succumbed to cancer at the age of sixteen; the smell of Roy de Soleil which brings me to this poem by Edmond Haraucourt (1856-1941) called Le Miroir:

L'odeur de vous flottait dans l'air silencieux:

J'ai vu la chambre vide et la table laissée,

Le livre où palpitait encore votre pensée,

Le miroir qui lui sait comme un morceau des cieux.

Alors, seul, je me suis incliné vers ces choses,

Et j'ai pieusement, de mes deux levres closes,

Baisé sur le miroir la place de vos yeux.*

*My not so poetic translation:

Your fragrance floated in the still air:

I saw your empty room and your things on the table,

The book where your thoughts still palpitated,

The mirror that knows you like the stars in the sky.

So, being alone, I leaned toward your things,

And piously with my two closed lips,

Kissed the mirror at the place your eyes had been.

Alex P. Keaton attends the May Daze Rally

I did something I have never done before last weekend. It was all quite by accident, but I met a friend of a friend who took me to the May Daze Rally. I thought we were going to a bar, but it turns out it was a motorcycle rally.

I walked in and the first thing I saw were two girls duking it out. "That is my friend P," she said as P got punched. I was reassured that I would not get beat up, that fights are rare, and are usually between females. It was the only fight I saw while at the rally.

I walked by rows and rows of tents and motorcycles. Most everyone looked cool and tough in their bandannas and Harley brand boots, beards, long hair, and piercings. I felt out of place with my Alex P. Keaton look, but no one said anything derogatory. In fact, amazingly, I met so many nice people that I still can't believe it.

Maybe it was because I was introduced as a rally virgin everywhere I went. People laughed briefly, but then usually shook my hand or patted me on the shoulder and said things such as 'welcome brother,' 'when you gonna buy a ride?', 'what do you think so far?', and 'have a beer on me.' I was amazed at the amount of professionals I met: real estate agents, drug reps, and accountants. I guess they are normal people who want to live their weekends on a bike.

After making the rounds and talking with people into the night, I became mesmerized by a young lady that was singing folk songs and playing the guitar around a camp fire. She sounded so much like Janice Joplin, and she was so confident in her singing and playing. She drew a small crowd of very appreciative listeners, and sang into the night.

The hot sun woke me up in my tent the next morning, and I felt like I had been run over like a freight train. I had managed about two hours of sleep. I was starving, and had to pass on the Bloody Marys that were making their way around the camp fire. There was really no need for a fire at this point, but it was still smoldering, and still the focal point of the camp.

I am definitely glad for the experience of attending the May Daze Rally. Does that mean I am in the market for a bike? No, Alex P. Keaton is not a one percenter, not yet. It felt really good to get back home away from the sounds and smells of the rally to nurse my hangover in peace.

Reason 4: Destination Times

Most of the destinations we visited had an allotted time window of 8:00 AM to 5:00 PM. Also, keep in mind that it takes almost an hour to get off the boat, and up to an hour to get back on, especially when the destination is one requiring a boat to ferry you from the docks.

This short period of time is just enough to get around to the dockside shops, eat lunch, and either purchase an excursion or spend a short time at the beach. This brief passage does not allow the visitor to really visit the country.

I like Margaritaville as much as anyone else, but if you only visit Margaritaville at each stop have you really visited the country? Do you really have a sense of the people and culture of the country by riding ATV's through the jungle? Have you become enriched by your experiences of shopping at Guess?

Out of the three destinations on the cruise: Jamaica, Grand Cayman Island, and Cozumel, I feel I only know the Mexican culture, having spent several weeks there. Its almost as if I never visited Jamaica or Grand Cayman Island.

Many people are scared to travel. They go and they can't wait to return home. They expect to see the things they see everyday: McDonald's, Margaritaville, KFC, Starbucks and the ubiquitous outlet shops. Outside of that comfort zone, people become frightened. They become pretentious over what they see as cultural inferiority, i.e. "They served me water, and it didn't even have ice. It was ridiculous;" "I'm American, you can't talk to me that way;" "If it wasn't for us, you'd be speaking German right now;" "Why can't you just speak English?"

I have heard their comments and seen the look on their faces. That is unfortunate, because for the rest of us, the ones with true wanderlust know that it is only outside this comfort zone that you can be rewarded and enriched through your travels.

In my opinion, there is little, if any time to venture outside the comfort zone on a cruise, and for that reason, I opine it is not real travel. It is not a real event. It is almost as vicarious as watching T.V. It is sterile; It is bland.

Reason 3: Alcohol and Gratuities

When we first boarded the vessel, it was announced that our rooms were not ready, and we would need to go to the pool deck to wait. My party gathered around a few tables on deck and shortly after, a server started setting drinks decorated with the obligatory umbrellas in front of everyone. Someone asked, "What is this?" Someone else suggested that, "maybe it is a welcome drink like in Mexico." I took one sip of the drink, found it too sweet, and pushed it away. A few minutes later the man returned with a tab for the drink: $7.50 plus 15% gratuity. In a novel, we would call this foreshadowing. Now we just arrived, and I wanted to be cool, so I paid for it. As the week progressed, my party and I became more and more cynical about the gratuities.

The cruise line pushed alcohol like it was going out of style. Conversations were constantly interrupted so we could say, "does it really look like I need more beer? I have a bucket right in front of me." When the elevator doors opened, there was most likely a server holding a tray full of drinks. The pushers were in the lobby, in the halls, in the casino, at lunch, and at dinner. Someone in my group joked that when he stepped out of the shower there was a guy with a tray full of drinks waiting for him.

Water was around $3.50 plus 15% gratuity. Soda was around $2.00 plus 15% gratuity. Beer was between $4.50 and $6.00 plus 15% gratuity. Everything we did involved a 15% gratuity.

Additionally, I was told it illegal to bring your own alcohol on board. Hypothesis: the cruise lines hired guns to go to Washington, and lobby the legislators to protect their vessels from terrorism by forbidding passengers to bring their own Molotov cocktails. Yes, if you want to make a Molotov cocktail you must pay the cruise lines their exorbitant fee and 15 % gratuity.

Oh, on top of the nearly $200 I spent on gratuities throughout the week, I was charged an additional $70 in gratuities at the end, and given an envelope explaining that my gratuities did not cover certain people, and I should give additional gratuities to them. On top of the astronomical prices that were charged just because they could, the gratuity system left a bad taste in my mouth.

Shore Excursion

When I started writing this blog, the idea was to discuss cultural issues. I really didn't care who read it, it was mostly for a personal release from the anti-cultural prison I live in. Not many people regularly read my blog, except my circle- howdy y'all.

Now that I have propounded a few entries about cruises, a few others have read the latest entries. I write about cruises because in my opinion, they are a pseudo-cultural event disguised as a cultural event. Now I have some people wanting to make comments such as, "check out this website on cruise information, its free, its fast, its easy, no obligation, call now and we will throw in not one oar, but two." No offense to anyone, but I am trying to take a critical look at cruise lines, not sell cruises. Also, if you love, love, love cruises, then by all means, bon voyage to you, start your own blog touting cruises. You are a big fan of Smokey the Steam Pipe? Tryouts are coming soon, knock yourself out.

If on the other hand you agree or disagree with the substance of what I am saying, or just want to say, "I'm king of the world," I will gladly publish your comments. Thanks.

Reason 2: False Chic Dinners

Being a bon viveur, I am truly excited about all things Gourmet. That's why the first night at dinner the menu stated the meals were the brain child of Jacques* something-or-another straight out of France, I was prepared to be amazed. The menu made my mouth water. I chose the smoked Salmon, lamb chops and crème brûlée.


First off I was not the sole person at my table to choose the smoked salmon. Another lady across from me said she had always wanted to try it, but never had. The smoked salmon had a hard texture and tasted funny. "I don't see why people rave about smoked salmon," the lady said pushing her plate away. She was right, it was not edible. Maybe she would have reacted the same to a proper smoked salmon, but in her mind this was a proper smoked salmon.


The lamb too cooked. There was not even a bit of pink. Shamefully, I had ordered the most expensive red wine on the menu (a Bourgogne) thinking it would go well with good lamb chops. About this time, I heard a load thump, and thought the boat hit something. In retrospect I know it was simply Escoffier rolling over in his grave.


Well at least there is the single most important food ever created by man, the crème brûlée. In my opinion, crème brûlée should be its own food group. The top of the crème brûlée was caramelized and beautiful. I cracked into the beautiful burnt sugary crust and all seemed well. I raised my spoon to my mouth, and discovered the creme was not smooth and creamy, but curdled, and egg smelling. Again, the person trying crème brûlée for her first time would probably assume this was crème brûlée.

I visited the dining room two more times before swearing it off, and eating hamburgers, Chinese food, and sandwiches for the rest of the trip. At least the cooks would be hard-pressed to screw those up. It was disheartening, but necessary for survival.

Sometimes phrases in French can more easily describe what had happened to the cuisine on this ship: Ils veulent péter plus haut que leurs culs.

*Some French name, you get the picture.

Reason 1: Smokey the Steam Pipe

First off, my reasons for my not liking cruises are in no certain order. In fact, this is not my numero uno ranked complaint, and the fact it is number one is arbitrary.

Okay, the big red double chimney-thingy on the Carnival ships is very tall and has black smoke pouring out of it. The billowing smoke can be seen for miles away at any of the excursions.

Hypothesis: A group of Carnival executives were sitting around the boardroom table, discussing how they could make their image greener. In a stroke of genius, some Carnival executive came up with the idea that instead of taking a step towards becoming greener, they would simply promote the idea that the big red double chimney-thingy is your friend. Master of spin, Smokey the Steam Pipe* was born.

Smokey the Steam Pipe quickly became the mascot for Carnival. He is on t-shirts, mugs, fridge magnets; a souvenir Smokey the Steam Pipe mug filled to the brim with rum punch can be purchased for a small fee; children's hats are made made in his image. People are crazy for Smokey the Steam Pipe. He is a diety. Yes, Smokey the Steam Pipe is the epitome of fun and destinations, therefore that billowing black smoke coming from the chimney's entrails cannot be bad, ya hear?
















*Funship Freddy is the actual name, and embodies the concept of the "Fun Day at Sea."

Skepticism and the Cruise

Its been a while since I last blogged. I really have no excuses, except sometimes it is difficult for a single young man to balance his social schedule with anything else.

I am a skeptic in general. I believe skepticism is a healthy and intellectual rigour as long as it doesn't cause you to become pessimistic or a pedant. Over the years I have been presented with opportunities to go on cruises, but have always skeptically dismissed them as "not my style." Instead of seeing a cruise as some magical connection with the past, a way to travel as in days of yore, a way to see many destinations at once, or an opportunity to relive scenes from Titanic, I imagined I would be like a prisoner who is told when to eat, sleep, and what to do. I imagined long lines to enter and exit the boat, a week of "hurrying up to wait," marching like good little ants and standing at attention when told to do so.

Disproving that what I have preconceived to be "not my style" is sometimes a worthy venture: I was also skeptical about doing all-inclusives in Mexico. But, I but discovered they are a great way to get out and see the reef, swim with the fish, scuba, practice Spanish, and besides, it is not far from home. I thought I would dislike Mexico, and especially the idea of all-inclusives, but they are a good, fun, cheap-and-easy fix, the people are nice, and willing to put up with my attempts at Es-pain-yole, and as a result I have gained Latin linguistic skill by leaps and bounds. All-inclusives may not reach the pinnacle of ideal vacations, but my time there was well spent, and I came away better for it.

I was presented, again, with the opportunity to cruise to Jamaica, Cayman Islands, and Cozumel. The trip was to be with a group of approximately 30 plus fun loving people. I decided if I was wrong about Mexico's all-inclusives, maybe I was wrong about cruising. It turns out to be worse than I ever imagined. I was right... only... wrong about how right I was.

I will tell you why I was wrong in the next posts....

Picardie Gem

While riding my bike in the area between Champagne and Picardie regions of France, in the department of Aisne, I came across several "ghost villages" with deserted buildings. I also came across this church which is small, and overgrown with tall grass. It was not constructed in the typical Champagne style, more of a Picardie style; However, you have to drive another half hour northwest to start seeing everything constructed from brick, it does not suddenly become so upon crossing the Champagne/Picardie border.

Although I am not a fan of brick in general, there is something about this little church that made me return time and time again to take photographs of it. I do not think it would be half as charming without being overgrown.

Weekend in Seattle

I watched the show "The Frugal Gourmet" for years before Jeff Smith (R.I.P.) was brought down by certain allegations. I still don't believe the allegations. I loved the show, and collected all of Smith's cookbooks. An idée fixe in the show was that a chef must use the freshest ingredients in order to make the best dishes. "Froogy" often went to Pike Place market in Seattle to obtain his fresh ingredients. I always wanted to go ever since I started watching the show.

I finally had an opportunity, and it was a fantastic experience. First let me say that one of the things I love about Europe is the smell of foods when out walking in the streets. I have experienced many American cities, but they are mostly absent these types of odors. In France, fish smells like the sea (not "fishy"). In America, it doesn't smell at all, it is absent odor. Where did it go? Is it natural for fish to be absent odor? How did the fish become sans odor? Anyway, Seattle, around and in the area of Pike Place had all kinds of real odors that brought me to a temporary state of euphoria. I could smell flowers, fish, spices, vegetables, fruits, roasted meats, the yeasty smell of baking, and the nearby Puget Sound.

Of course, as exciting as it was to see all this freshness, I couldn't exactly wrap a fish up and take it home, as much as I would have liked to do so. Instead I purchased raw hard honey, and hard lavender honey, and an infused balsamic vinegar. One week later, and I have almost finished the raw hard honey which I have been taking in my morning tea, and every cup reminds me of Seattle.

How to Trap a Unicorn

I love this tapestry which hangs in the Musée de Cluny next to the Sorbonne in Paris. It is actually one of six woven in the 15th Century and entitled, "La Dame à la licorne"

Each of the six represents a sense, this one obviously representing sight. What is the sixth sense? It is, "Mon seul désir," which some have interpreted to mean 'love.' Some of the six tapestries include a monkey- sorry Monkeyposh, not this one!

The medieval protocol for capturing this animal is to place a virgin in the path of the unicorn. Some accounts require the virgin to bare her breasts. The unicorn seeing the virgin will come lay its head in the lap of the virgin maiden and fall asleep.

Listen!

Paris misses me* right now. Because of that, I will take the reader to the Metro "Les Halles", past the Tabac into the mall, past the many clothing shops offering les soldes, past the many food vendors, and up the stairs to the St. Eustache exit.**

In the St. Eustache courtyard known as the Place René Cassin is a humongous piece of sandstone art, "l'Ecoute"*** by Henri de Miller. The piece is simple, yet captivating. I like to buy a sandwhich in Les Halles, and eat it in front of the statue. The statue can be photographed from many different angles, and there is a way to take someone slightly behind the hand where it looks like the person is standing in the Listener's hand.

On a sunny day, I can pass an hour in the Place René Cassin in front of the statue that I find serene. It is one of my preferred places.

*Oui, elle me manque.
** Or just take the more direct Châtelet-Les Halles metro.
*** The Listener

Amos Lee- Supply and Demand

Amos Lee's second album, Supply and Demand, has thrown my ipod into overdrive, and I thought I should say a few words about it. The album came out in 2006, and when it did, I heard an interview on NPR, was interested in the album, and even wrote enough information that would allow me to purchase it.

For whatever reason, I did not purchase the album, and it kept coming back to me in some form or another, while at Borders, upon finding my old notes, each time enticing me, but each time I did not buy it. Finally, on my trip on Blackbeard's, the cook was listening to the album, and I happened to be a captive audience. The song "Careless" was playing. The lyrics to the song "Careless" hit me especially hard, as I know the situation by heart, having experienced it.

I decided to buy the album, and am now writing this is as a semi-apology to myself for not purchasing it earlier. This is the album I listened to most throughout January. Why do I like it so much? Maybe it is Lee's bluesy voice; or the thoughtful, sometimes provoking lyrics; or the folky guitars and background pianos. This music is laid-back and relaxing, but without being lulling, or dull.

I had been listening to the album for about a week when I heard one of the songs on TV, and came running to see what it was about. Maybe the commercial had been playing for some months, and I only tuned into it after knowing the song "Sweet Pea" from Lee's album. I am not sure. Here is the commercial. Please note I do not endorse AT&T products.

I don't know what the 5 stars on your ipod mean to you. For me, they mean this:

* Take this shit off !!!
** If you need more room later you can take me off
*** This is a solid song
**** This song is above average
***** This song is pure genius

I have very few 5 stars, and not many 4's either. That being said, this album got high ratings.

1. Shout Out Loud ****
2. Sympathize ****
3. Freedom ***
4. Careless ****
5. Skipping Stone ****
6. Supply and Demand ***
7. Sweet Pea ***
8. Night Train ***
9. Southern Girl ****
10. The Wind **
11. Long Line of Pain ****

2004 Pascual Toso Cabernet Sauvignon

2004 Pascual Toso Cabernet Sauvignon.
Argentina.


This is the best low end bottle I have imbibed in a very long time. I was very impressed by the multi dimensional yet smooth flavors and finished the bottle in a very short period of time with another person. In fact, I enjoyed this bottle so much that I got lost in the state of enjoyment, and made very few descriptive notes to write about. The slightly out of focus label is also indicative of my Bacchian state of mind at the time. Damn, I guess I will have to buy another bottle....

2003 Neyers Cabernet Sauvignon

2003 Neyers Cabernet Sauvignon Neyers Ranch, Napa Valley.

I have nothing but high praise for this little gem from Napa Valley, CA. All the fab Cab characteristics were present, but what makes this wine stand out is its smooth complexity. Smooth complexity may sound oxymoronic, but there are so many dimensions and flavors to this wine, and at the same time the flavors are balanced. This is the kind of wine that one should buy a case of, drinking two bottles per year to note how the wine changes each year. This wine is well worth the $50 price tag.

2005 Ferrari-Carano Fumé Blanc

Everyone knows I am not a big white wine fan, with the exception of a couple that make my heart flutter such as Honig Sauvignon Blanc. Last night I found another white wine that also makes my heart flutter: 2005 Ferrari-Carano Fumé Blanc from Sonoma County, CA.

FC has a wonderful yeasty bouquet. Its elegant buttery smooth Chardonnay-like beginning is followed by a "rougher" Sauvignon Blanc-type finish (which is proper as "Fumé Blanc" is simply an alias for Sauvignon Blanc) bringing out notes of lemon. I had the FC with shrimp and scallops in cream over angel hair pasta, and it was a good companion to the last drop.

Lo Tengo Malbec

This is one of the coolest labels I have ever seen. When the bottle is tilted, the dancer's legs move. This is also a prime example of how a cool label does not equate to good wine.



When I purchased Lo Tengo Malbec from Argentina, I was expecting a typical Malbec with the qualities of earthiness, mushrooms, and fall leaves with this wine. Instead, I found a smooth plum that was rather one-dimensional and not full of Malbecian bling. Although this is by no means an undrinkable wine, such as the Cecchi, the day after I opened it I had a choice to finish it or move on, and I decided to move on.

2003 Cecchi Orvieto Classico

Cecchi Orvieto Classico This wine had the most off-tasting notes with chemical overtones that rendered it undrinkable.

Thank goodness I had an extra bottle of 2004 Bogle Old Vine Zinfandel sitting around. It at least, was excellent and its spicy tones went well with tom kha gai and curry crab rangoon.

2005 Red Guitar

2005 Red Guitar
Navarra Old Vine

55% Tempranillo, 45% Grenache

This very spicy medium-bodied wine from Spain tastes like a hot, dry day in Madrid, and conjures up images of Piel de Sapo melon, the corrida on the TV in the afternoon, and the flamenco guitarist in front of the cathedral of Salamanca. The spiciness is, in fact, so pronounced, that it mounts into the nasal passages and warms up the entire face. The smooth body is either absent of fruit, or otherwise cloaked by the spiciness. This is a good inexpensive wine for "Old Vine" fans and fans of spicy wine.

Pirate's Lady

Hello my friends, I am back from a wonderful week in the Bahamas, and passed one of the best weeks of my life. Our ship, the Pirate's Lady of Blackbeard's Ilk*, took us on 18 dives at various sites between Grand Bahama Island and Bimini. Some of the dives were spectacular, all were fun.

The Pirate's Lady was not the most luxurious boat. My berth was small, and the only thing separating me from the common room table was a curtain. There was no privacy at all. The shower consisted of all the salt water you wanted followed by a thirty second fresh water rinse. The food passed at best. Monkey Posh would not have approved to say the least. Still, the environment forced the passengers to spend time together, and as a result, I made many new friends and not even a week home, we are already planning other trips together.

The author and friends play Scrabble on the bow of the Pirate's Lady.

So, what did I learn on this trip?

Eats:

I ate the Bahamian national dish, conch (pronounced "conk") prepared in various ways. Variations on this dish include cracked conch (cracked means fried in Bahamian), conch fritters, conch gumbo, raw conch on a salad, and conch pizza! I thought it was much better than the mountain oysters and chicken fried steak so lovingly prepared in my home state.

Drinks:

I discovered Bahamian beer too: Kalik (pronounced Ka-lick, with the accent on the lick), which is a well-known brand. A new beer being brewed on Grand Bahama Island is Sands. Sands has a wheat beer taste, and is excellent. I asked for Sands at both bars in the harbor area of Alice Town, Bimini (End of the World and Big John's) and no one had heard of it. Although Kalik is the classic, I loved the rich taste of Sands.

The author does the cha cha at Big John's on New Year's Eve. Every little ting was alright 'til early da next morning.

Dos:

Although my compatriots and I drank a lot, too much, the main focus of the trip was diving. Instead of detailing each dive, I will tell you we saw spectacular and beautiful fish, including Angelfish, Trumpetfish, Grouper, Stingray, Barracudas, Moray Eels, Jacks, Lionfish and of course, Sharks! We also saw three different wrecks from the Sapona which is a shallow wreck, to the 100 foot deep Theo's Wreck which was seen in the film Halloween.

The beautiful but venomous Lionfish**


The author swims with a new friend**

While my body may be back in the States, my mind is still in the Bahamas.

* Word learned from Scrabble game which the author still finds questionable.
** Photos by VG